This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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