You smell like a Billy Joel song
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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