With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You took a bar mat shot.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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