i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize