I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
