Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
