he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
