just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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