i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Four minutes until I can fart!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
