If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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