a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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