I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
