Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
