i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
