how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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