He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Enjoy the penises
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
