hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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