You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
