I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
