I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
