the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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