I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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