he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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