just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
