You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love accidental penises.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
