also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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