My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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