is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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