It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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