I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
