i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
