My liver just broke up with me...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
