I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize