I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
