Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize