youre lurking in front of me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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