i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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