No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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