your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
