WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
