i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
