One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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