It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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