Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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