If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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