girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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