I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
