we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
