ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
