its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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