Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
