It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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