its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
