we have pet lesbian snakes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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