I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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