Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
