So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
