it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
