He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
