all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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