In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
