hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
